‘My Mom’s Biggest Lesson’ – Arrey Bate

  • by

These two painful experiences changed my thinking and they’re going to drive home a very important message to you my friend-:)

In August 2019 I experienced a rock-bottom breakdown for three days

It happened exactly 4 days after my live interview on the BBC, I flew back to Cameroon and met one of my biggest realisations…

BBC gave me such a huge opportunity so the moment I reached home, I remember trying to jump on the numerous things to do; to grant a few other interviews, I was trying to build my network, to finish writing and publishing my first book, to handle my business and at the same time working on an investigative news article on the Cameroon Anglophone crisis(that was to be published the following month)

That period I spent most of my time with my senior brother #Otang, and I remember breaking down like a child right in front of him

I couldn’t eat, my eyes went deem and I couldn’t do anything. All the work stood there looking at me and I remained helpless on the bed. You know that moment when you’re not sick, but you don’t feel okay?

In that moment I realised how helpless I became so fast …

You see my friend,

As a pastor’s son growing up, I always watched my mom and dad fend for people at their own expense…

All my childhood growing up in Cameroon, I honestly can’t tell you how many ‘mad’ people lived with us in the house

I mean people who literally had mental issues

Some of them slept a night, two nights, three nights, and the next morning we never saw them again

One of them was called Nanje
We played football with Nanje in Bakingili

And then he left one early morning without our notice and we never saw him again(until today)

On many occasions, the moment a pot of rice was dropping down the three-stone fireside, we got visitors and my mom will clean up the pot and get ready to start cooking another meal

So one time my mom suffered a heavy hunger stress and caught an ulcer😓

It was a tough time for the family

the ulcer troubled her for around 17 years

I will never forget the day I walked into her room and watched her lying on the floor

My dad knelt by her side holding her stomach trying to raise her up


That day I prayed every prayer I knew seeing my mom helplessly shed a tear before her son. I begged God never to let that happen again

It’s been many years down the drain and 4 out of 6 kids of us kids are grown up. My dad and mom are pretty much better with lesser burden and they’re devoting more time for their church and humanitarian work to help the community

“But Arrey, why all the sad stories today?🤷🏼‍♂️”

I dunno…

But ONE THING stuck with me all this while as I watched my parent’s journey and my mom has been drumming it again to my ears after her experience

It is to ‘Never get wasted by the work you do, that it ruins you of the very impact you’re trying to create’ – Arrey Bate

Read that again my friend!

Why am I sharing all these stories with you?

I know I talk about entrepreneurship and working hard a lot.

I know that just like me, you’re grinding so hard to build a young brand or business (or maybe you’re still in the starting phase)

If you’re anything like me, with most of the work I do, I’m eagerly hoping that it blows off so I can support family and give back to the people around me

But many times we soak ourselves so much in the work that we feel we can finish all of it before we’re old

And work will ALWAYS show up !

So my friend, I wanted to ask you to thoroughly lookout on yourself- you need YOU to be able to survive and stand strong for those around you

I know some coaches talk about grinding hard now that you’re young, waking up at 4am (That’s a long story for another day)

So make more time to build your relationships, spend more time to have a refreshing sleep, keep time to talk to family and talk to the people that genuinely care after you and you care after them

It is the one thing I have been learning this year which I ignored the past crazy years

I can’t stress enough on the importance of making a pause to reflect, to recreate that connection back with yourself, with your partner, build your emotions again and buckle up for next stage of your life

I wish you well my friend and like I always say…

‘Cheers to many years of shamelessly living and crazily excelling in passion and purpose’


Arrey Bate
Internet Entrepreneur | Author | Journalist





PS: Entrepreneurs, coaches and business owners! If you’re struggling to get consistent clients every month, check out my marketing agency ARREYB Is Marketing. If you’re a good fit for what we do, we will do all the marketing for you and let you sit back to collect the sales.Go to arreybismarketing.com to book a free strategy call with my team today (this is strictly for businesses already making $1,000/pm, or having the potential to generate $1,000 and above monthly)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.